Mr. Nice Guy..Would You Go Away? Please.

         I can’t help but notice that the “good guys” always have some corny line opening or something uninteresting to talk about once you finally give them your number. I don’t like bad guys per say.. but it’s hard to like a good guy. I know you know why but let me break this down for those of you who don’t. The average good guy is a push over.. he always over does everything to satisfy you to the point that he is absolutely boring as hell. Not to mention (depending on the type of girl you are and you know if you possess the looks, skills, and sassiness overall) he is usually so damn insecure. No matter how you say I’m leaving this inside man (see first blog) alone to be with someone who will treat me like I deserve to be treated you get the nice guy & end up not being happy at all. What the hell is the problem? Is there no median?? You have to take the good with the bad..but who wants to be miserable all in the name of love? Damned if you do, damned if you don’t *sighs* truly mind boggling to say at the least.

         As women we always like to feel as if the guy has changed. We stay with the bad guy praying that one day we can say “he changed for me”. Why don’t we like the guy who doesn’t need to be changed, tamed, or beat upside the head with a frying pan? Simple. It’s the thrill of all the drama and nonsense that comes along with the bad boys. We could be in a relationship with two men. One who wants to marry us, buy a house, and move away to start a family, and one who has commitment issues, lives with his mammy, and makes you get an abortion every time he doesn’t pull out on time.  Who do you think gets more attention? Surely not the one who treats you like a queen…because he is so repetitive and just too damn nice.

       I don’t know if it’s a cure for this need of just a little bit of “aint shitness” syndrome. But, I do know this. The guy who never forgets to text you good morning everyday & good night every evening, treats you with respect even though you ignore most of his text messages, cheers you up when the other guy hurts your feelings, compliments every hairstyle or every outfit you have ever put on, remembers your favorite color, your hobbies, and the co-worker you can’t stand name should be the one you’re checking for. We complain about alllll of these ain’t shit men in the world but then when we finally find someone who takes the time to learn us, love us & care…we call them our bff or we get them, use & abuse them & turn them into everything he wasn’t for the next broad. 

    Even if your man isn’t like the inside man and he is indeed your man does that exempt him from being someone you shouldn’t be with? It definitely does not. You know what’s acceptable & what’s not; you know the situations that you’re too ashamed to tell your friends about? Well, it shouldn’t be that many situations like that. YES, uncertainty can be exciting. The bad guy does possess desired traits and this makes him appealing, but NO we shouldn’t fail to see his BAD intentions. Now, of course every theory can be misconstrued. I’m not saying every corny guy who appears to be nice is in fact a good guy! I’m not saying that the bad guy won’t change for you when you threaten to leave. All I’m saying is to think with your head & not with your heart. Funny how we can know when our phone bill is due but still wait until the day of.. or until it gets cut off before we pay it.

I love you, I just can't stand your BABY MAMA!

         














 The drama the drama these got damn baby mamas. Mannn, They never let go. No matter how long they haven't been with their child's father they will still create hell for the new chick he's dealing with. Whyyyyy???  Don't fret because it baffles us all.  I think we have all been with a guy who has a child and an annoying ass baby mama. No matter how nice you try to be towards her and their seed she gives your man a hard time. How many times have you had to stay home while he goes to pick the child up? How many stares of death have you been given when she sees you? Yet & still we keep our peace....just so you wouldn't be the reason he ends up not being able to see his child. Now. I'm a baby mama. I've never been the typical one though. So let me talk my shit. The average baby mama didn't have that baby because she doesn't believe in abortions. She had that baby because she felt like whatever he has is what she's trying to get for the rest of her life. And you are now ruining her happily ever after. No matter how evident it is he has moved on 9 times out of 10 he's still soothing her to stay off of child support..no matter what that soothing may entail. 
      Now I can't say that all men with children are dealing with their baby mama, but don't be a fool either. If she doesn't want to let him go & he wants to continue maintaining the peace aka "just ignore her baby" there is no way in the hell your relationship will last. All women have a little bit of crazy in them but baby mamas have a different kind of crazy. They have that stalk your entire life, slash your tires, & do WHATEVER it takes to keep their family intact kind of crazy. I also want to say. They're all not acting crazy for no reason. You have to pay close attention to the details of their relationship. Be mindful & considerate of the fact that he has to maintain a relationship with the mother of his child. How close is too close? Well if he claims he doesn't want her to know about you or claims that you can't meet their child after a substantial amount of time then cut his ass off. That means that he's not being direct about her place in his life. Don't fall for the whole "she know I don't want to be with her" hoopla. It's never that apparent. A short message to you crazy baby mamas. You're only hurting your child by keeping them away from their father because of the differences between the two of you. Every child deserves 2 parents..you could never take the place of the father..just double the mother. Since its not every day that men want to be a part of their child's life don't make your child suffer because you don't know when to let go or how to handle your emotions.
     

Loving the "Inside Man"

"When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door".

 

For years, I've never known what love had in store for me. Afraid of it...calling myself monogamously unfit because a person can only be as faithful as their options..no? Breaking hearts everywhere...wanting what I want when I wanted it no matter who I had to hurt to get it. Open off the thought of love...it sounds more appealing than it actually is...or does it? Welp..that usually comes to an end once we meet the mysterious one..the one who you just can't seem to figure out but you can't live without. The one who doesn’t jump to every command or answer to every beck & call. We all have that one person who we could never conquer..No matter how fine and bad you are, no matter how good your sex and head game is, no matter how good of a chef you are, no matter how supporting and loving you are...He would only give you just enough (which could be mental or physical) to be able to come back whenever he feels like it no title, no commitment, no nada.

     

     Well I call this kind the "Inside Man"...for years he's studied you and figured out that although you might have changed for him you still are not good enough to be more than whatever he's giving you. He would make love to you, question you, may even take you out, show little signs of jealousy, and be there for you whenever you want to talk. But as soon as you mention wanting more...he declines and you say to yourself and your friends "I'm threw with his ass" but you really can't let go. He doesn't call, he doesn't text you and he's showing you that he doesn't care but you still don't take it for what it is. All your friends hate his ass and can't seem to figure out why you can't see the aint shitness. Eventually, amping you up to leave him alone for some time..but when you finally see him again after a week, month, year or whatever..all of the same feelings come back and you say to yourself this time it's going to be different..one night aint gone kill me.. because you don't feel as weak and hey he has great sex. 

    He knows you better than you know yourself at this point. He knows what he has to do in order to get what he wants and for however long he wants it. In your mind, you're convinced he still cares about you because he keeps coming back but all he does is steal. He steals your heart, mind, and body. His truths are lies, his behavior is an act, and whenever he gets tired of you he gets the hell on…if this sounds at all familiar then yep, you’re or were a victim of the “Inside Man”.